via ohsopictures
“I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind
I’ll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now
I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
and out of all these things I’ve done
I will love you better now. “
The other “F” word, forgiveness. First, you have to make a choice to forgive. Many say they have but then end up suppressing, avoiding, not thinking about, instead of truly forgiving. Not hating someone anymore isn’t forgiveness. Forgiveness means love, empathy, and understanding. It means you can look someone in the eyes and want happiness for them and truly mean it. It means to peel judgement and blame and see them as a person with defects, like everyone else. It means to accept where they are in their journey and wish them well.
- theangrytherapist.
The other “F” word, forgiveness. First, you have to make a choice to forgive. Many say they have but then end up suppressing, avoiding, not thinking about, instead of truly forgiving. Not hating someone anymore isn’t forgiveness. Forgiveness means love, empathy, and understanding. It means you can…
I miss making tea for those late night chats. I still have packages of loose tea leaves from teaopia and I haven’t used my glass tea pot in ages. I miss going to kilkenny’s late at night where I take forever to finish one strongbow while you try every flavour of vodka, ranging from chocolate to pomegranate. I miss going to mcdonalds’ for peppermint tea and sitting in those knifed up seats till 3am, where you guys laughed at my stupid, mindless comments about everything.
Ironically a recent visit to mcdonald’s changed all of that. That night still replays in my mind constantly. In the same spot where we sat a few months ago drawing stupid faces on cups was also the exact same spot where every scar was uncovered, new wounds were made and it became a battlefield.
I know I am at fault, a lot of fault, but I also feel wronged on how it became only my fault. I’m a very indirect person because I try to avoid conflicts at all costs, however, something ignited me to say certain things on both of those nights. Maybe it was the constant criticism I received about how much I suck at being me, or the idea that I needed to change myself because you two weren’t going to accept anything else. When I went home that night, the comments you two gave me really slapped me hard.
I wasn’t being too passive, I was angry too. Something led me to say certain things during that phone call and that night. I truly feel like shit knowing that my comment did all that damage & for that, I don’t deserve this friendship or your attention at all. At the same time though, I cannot bring myself to admit to fault for everything because honestly I was mad too, which is why I never made contact.
I am truly sorry for everything that you went through because of me. I never meant to cut you guys out but you have to understand that from my perspective, I don’t feel like I am fully at fault.
I know you’re sick of trying, but I don’t know how to face all of this. I don’t want another confrontation where nothing gets solved. So for now, maybe it’s best if the table remains empty.
Photo Courtesy: imanurse
(Source: leilockheart)
